Pending Write-up: I’m Far (Track 6)
Feelings from “I’m Far” still affect me today. Before any of us actual were successful, opposite perspectives on business involving money cause a rift that will never close. I really do not even want to say too much about this y’all. What’s that catch phrase people use to present themselves as not caring about something , but really it tears them up inside?….Ah that’s right “It is what it is”…
Pending Write-up: Carnival of Life (Track 5)
“No I don’t need no help” (Gardener). “Carnival of Life” hits so close to home. This track is extremely personal and I am very content with the final result.
This song embodies some of the craziness (emotionally) I’ve experienced. Now me as a young dude I learned the hard way that the average person is full of shit and unfortunately for me I was very naïve and originally believed words that were said to me.
But so many people go through the puppy love stage right? Your first love, it ends and you moved on…if it was only that easy!…..No, stop, whoa, I am no longer stuck on love for past relationships. What I will admit is that I can still remember the sadness I felt, when shit broke down. I’ve always been pretty good at remembering the emotionally high and low points of my life. I have a ton of high points as a kid that still to this day put a smile on my face.
Back to the track though…Carnival of Life, which is produced by the homie Lone Monk, is a song where I spill my guts about a past relationship that was pretty important to me, at the time. This relationship ended and I wasn’t happy with the way it went down. So I took those feelings and added the concept of the carnival. See a carnival has bright lights and appealing images to the eye. But you mess around and have that cotton candy and chilli dog, then hop up on the teacups and vomit all over yourself!
That is what life can be sometimes a carnival..and you better hol’ on tight!
– Gardener
Pending Write-up: Bereavement Period (Track 4)
Bereavement: Grief is a multi-faceted response to loss, particularly to the loss of someone or something to which a bond was formed.
This intro sets the stage for the fore coming tracks. This section contains my inner most thoughts about relationships, that are no longer the same or have ended.
Joe Budden in his track “Dear Diary” is quoted as
“See relationships are never a threat/Cause I’ll erase the history and act like we never met”.
The majority of my relationships fall under Joe’s sentiments. I can honestly say only a few relationships caused me pain. Not because I didn’t have a lot of them, but I was very careful with how much of myself I invested into them.
Think of your life as a building with revolving doors….people leave and enter all the time. We have little control on keeping people in or out of the building. All we can do is be ourself. Think about it, a building for the most part is a complete structure and unless you plan on doing renovations there really is no way to change it. And even if you decide to change, if it’s not fast enough people may still leave while your in the middle of renovations.
There are only a few people that left my building that actually caused me pain. These relationships are touched in this section of “Pending”.
– Gardener