Watched Adam Curtis’ – Can’t Get You Out of My Head

Adam Curtis Documentary

I recently discovered a British documentarian named Adam Curtis. His latest documentary, which is a six-part series entitled Can’t Get You Out of My Head was released mid-February 2021. There was so much covered within the first part that I wound up watching it twice last night. I plan on watching the second and third part very soon.

The documentary covers numerous global historical events and individuals, that have had quite an impact/influence on the current state of society.

Favourite Sequence:

The opening. Video footage depicting numerous protests going on around the world, with narration explaining the rising frustration directed toward the wealthy elite. I thought this introduction undoubtedly captured the last few years of what is actually going on here on Earth. Shit is falling apart.

Favourite Historical Person Introduced:

Micheal de Freitas. His story seems very interesting. It seems as though he had a lot to do with the Black Power movement in London. I don’t know anything about the struggles of black people in England. From what I know about basic human traits I could conjecture that the fact that the British Empire stretched out as far as it did, there must have been resistance from citizens of England when brown immigrants from India, the Caribbean and so on started flooding in. No different than America with its criticisms on immigration currently.

Or I guess any country’s citizens afraid of their own erasure.

Thoughts Pondered…

When I was watching the scene and there are a horde of English citizens holding an immigration reform protest in London. Gazing at the protester’s scowling, snarling faces; I couldn’t help but think of all the other groups, in history, of people that were terrified of their new neighbours that unexpectedly showed up. In many cases those terrified people were slaughtered.

No matter how much we try to convince ourselves we are different from others, believe me in the end some of our worst traits are identical.

Didn’t mean to turn this into a soapbox rant. Anyway this documentary is worth watching.

Wiki link:

Still Pending…

Dear Virtual Diary,

To Stay or Not to Stay.

I have been giving a lot of thought lately to how long I will stay in Japan for. With this particular job and living situation, I have a maximum of 5 years. Currently, I am not sure how long I want to be here for. Gary Snyder stayed for 10 years…

Instead of thinking of reasons of why I should stay, I have been thinking of reasons of why I should go.

Believe me I know that I am jumping the gun, but when you are out on an island with 6,000 people you tend to do a lot of thinking.

Other than seeing family and friends, I have repeatedly come to the same reason over and over again.

My age.

Being 32 (Another birthday passes by) now and staying 5 years would mean that I would be returning home at 37 years old. Age is one of the last insecurities I have, I think. While writing this down I got butterflies in my stomach when just typing I’d be 37 years old (more butterflies).

I can’t help but thinking about “what will I have to show at 37 years old?”. If I stay here, nothing. Contradictory, I ask myself “if I was 37 and had a home I would still be unhappy”. Truthfully, I could have done that if I wanted. I had an ideal job for that life. But I quit.


My biggest challenge lies in [thinking ahead]. I do not have the ability to see what I will evolve into. Whether it be the work I am writing, the Japanese I am studying, the music I am creating or the evolution of ideas that I simply jot down from time to time. I cannot see the final results of what they will amalgamate to. This unforeseen foresight is where I have my challenges. Maybe if I could see the results of who and what I’d become my decision for staying longer would be that much easier.

Time Paradox.

But then if I knew the future would I still work as hard? If someone told me that my Japanese will be native level by next year, I’d probably stop studying so hard on account of knowing that everything would be alright. But this would change the future no? Ceasing my studies would result in me not speaking very good Japanese in the following year.

“We don’t give a flyin’ 747 fuck though” – Nas.

In hip hop I always hear the lyrics “scared money, don’t make no money”, which simply translates to “with no risk, there is no reward”. I guess my risk is all in my age and risking the potential feeling of being almost 40 with nothing to show. I should also not that this would be in the measure of materials only. I have some respect for my self worth.

I also realize that this is all really superficial. I don’t necessarily care about people who are 40 who don’t own a house or have many things to their name, so why do I care so much? Maybe I care because all of my life I have been told to care. I wonder if it just comes down to wanting to be desirable, respect or both.

Writing about it or drowning my thoughts with hip hop music usually quells my worries. *Cues Dom Kennedy’s After School”

I Miss Things

I miss

An overcrowded home

I miss

The sound of nephews playing

I miss

Mother’s voice

I miss

More books than I could ever read

I miss

Library studies

I miss

Conversations with Nabil until dawn

I miss

Crushing on women and enjoying the feeling

I miss

Drives to clear my mind

I miss

The smell of Mother’s cooking

I miss

Scooby Doo laughs of Sister

I miss

Complete Understanding

I miss


I miss

Visits to Powe for inspiration

I miss

Music powwows and the universe with Ian

I miss

Softball with the kind hearted

I miss

Head Space

I miss

Never hitting my head

I miss

Small talk in the morning

I miss

Deer under the Burnhamthrope bridge

I miss

Any cuisine I want

I miss

Complaining about bad dates

I miss

Basketball courts with Dane