cFebruary 18, 2017
Dear Virtual Diary,
“The crowd follows one big ploy/I don’t follow the crowd you can me Big Boi…”
Today was an interesting day. When I returned home after finishing today’s errands, it dawned on me that I didn’t have one conversation today. In fact, the only instances I had actually spoken words were when I spoke to sales folks working in the convenience store or coffee shops I had visited. This hit me when I was unlocking the apartment door and remembered that my brother would not be home waiting for me.
I think having my brother staying with me these past two months lead to this early evening revelation. While warming up dinner I pondered whether or not I should let not having a conversation, on this long drawn out Saturday, bother me. Let me just preface this with saying that being out here gives me nothing but time to do introspective analysis on my introspective analyses. In truth, I thought it was a good topic to write about because on a whole I would say that while living in Japan I have spent more time reading and writing than conversing. One of the main factors being that I live in a low populated area where most people are double my age. Also, I don’t talk too much at my schools and usually come right home after to my fortress of soulitude. If I am not practicing dribbling in the driveway I am cleaning my apartment or studying something.
This morning I walked to the beach and sat in the sand and just thought about how the mountains in front of me were created. Now, I am the type of person to clown this type of thought process and believe me I make fun of myself all the time for doing things like this, but let me just say that that morning was incredibly enjoyable. In that moment, I think the normative aspects of my previous life, in the land of maple syrup, were completely null and void. No gossip, insecurities, bravado, wants, hopes, happiness, disappointment just some mountains and a whole lot of water.
I am starting to think that I am collecting much of the evidence that can help provide an suitable answer to that timeless question of “What is life?”. Living in Japan to me is like living in some kind of alternate universe where many of the aspects of life from back home are stripped from my cerebral and both my mind and vision is much sharper and function without the constant blizzard of white noise I experienced back home.
Just look at the photo…Anyone that just sits and stares is bound to feel calm.