I journey, again, back to serenity, tranquility, peace and stillness. (Japan II)
My last trip to Japan toppled the axis of my life. I remember my emptiness once my feet touched the Canadian soil. Now 352 days later I traverse the pacific ocean once again to にほん。
No plans, just books. Last year was Kerouac, Wyndham Lewis this year? The length of 352 days has an effect on your memory you forget things…Smells, faces become apparitions, compact cars and structures become dreams of the past. Dreams and memories the enigmatic and axiom. When awoken we try to put the pieces of calamity together, hoping they make sense. Memories are linear, factual and are always within the confines of reality. Japan, for me, exists in the grey. I experience the dream within the construct of reality.
Last year I learned that Jack Kerouac’s stories even reached Japan. シにゃとっきゅ (Midnight Express) by こたろさわき (Kotaro Sawaki) was published in 1986. It is about a young man’s journey through Asia and Europe.
That aside it will just be nice to be nervous again. Feel my heart beating rapidly as my palms begin to sweat. Mundane content constantly looped within the construct of routine. It has weakened me, my being atrophied as I lose touch with rawness. My first time being afraid that I would not be able to order food, imagine not sure if you will have a meal. Things have been handed to me with little to no effort on my part. I walk these streets unafraid, snug and unfazed. In the land of the rising sun I am frightened, solitary and on edge. Every decision counts and I count on every decision. Every wrong decision may result to my induction to being a transitory vagabond or eating some type of sea crustacean that is still alive. I am careful, precise, focused. I take my time as if I am writing the final copy of my lyrics by typewriter. Every stab counts don’t make a mistake or you must start again. The pressure is intense and constant….Like Gardener I have forgotten what that experience is like, but I remember what I will feel again.
(My previous trip: h)