Ahhhh Pending it’s almost here.  This record means a lot to me.  Growing up I never ever ever thought I was special.  I found myself always searching for something that would define me.  I always felt there was nothing really special about me to latch on to.  Even though I rapped I didn’t look at it as a skill that was “special”, it was just something I enjoyed and was good at.


Now even to this day I do not really think of myself as “special” but around the time when I was working multiple jobs and taking night classes, to upgrade my marks to enter university.  I definitely started seeing myself as someone not to be underestimated not because of what I was doing, but because I set out a plan and executed it.  Believe me I was never one to set goals and achieve them.  I was just “living” until I started setting goals.


It is my belief that most people rarely get to do what they want in life.  What I mean by that is most people make decisions based off their options.  Someone actually living their dream is extremely rare.  It’s kind of why major populated areas in North America fantasizes the idea of getting away on a vacation or going to the cottage as “the ultimate thing”.


I am grateful for my position.  Granted things can always be better but I am extremely grateful for being able to do what I love….


Pending March 2013….

*Sigh* Black People…

*Sigh* Black People….

“I HATE BLACK PEOPLE”…These are words I passionately express during a conversation with a black woman.  Her reaction? Well she was pretty upset with my statement (totally understandable though!).  The reaction was interesting though she decided then and there to hit me with some internalized racism; she called me an “OREO”!!!  Oh don’t know what that is??


Oreo – An American of African decent who behaves more white than black. (


Now for the record it is utterly ridiculous for anyone to think I am some Uncle Ruckas (Boondocks reference a show you should watch!).  I see hate as an emotion that cannot exist without some form of caring/love being present.  I am very proud of my race and my people.  It is just that some of the most painful heartache I have felt has been at the hands of people from my own race.  And that has had a considerable effect on me.  In one of the greatest shows ever created (not a fact just guessing hah!) Boondocks Huey states


“You do what you can to help black folks, and they make you wonder why you even bother. But they’re our people, and we gotta love ’em regardless.”


And these are words I have chosen to live by, so maybe I do not hate my people; I love the potential we have and HATE that some of us do not act on that potential.


I decided to make a song/video on the subject.
Till next time.


–       Gardener


(Oh and if any non-black folk read this and you feel weird or awkward just know I like all races but always remember……different races of women>>>>>>>>>> different races of men)  hah!

FIrst Post Only Right I Keep It Sensitive!

Seeing how this is my first First Post…I should keep it sensitive…


——> Relationships…..


We all experience them and to me they are something I hold very dear.  The people I have around me define me, but I have always thought that they should inspire me as well.  Now there are several people in my circle who are an integral part of my being.  Not to sound dramatic….But these people are valued by myself for their intangible contributions to my life, hopes and dreams.


Now, one of the unfortunate consequneces of relationships is when you have to end one with a person you care about.  It hurts and all that other sad stuff…..but that’s life.  We all go through it and experience it.


This sets the stage for my upcoming record “Pending”.  Stay tuned….